Making a Start

I think I have finally found out where I want to go in life and what I want to do.
Whenever anybody sets out to find the path they want to follow it's important to establish one thing, Where you are now!
I found out where I am which has made starting my new direction so much easier.
To find out where you are now you have to be totally honest with yourself, ask yourself how you feel about your life (not what you think but really, how you feel).
Work out what it is about your life you really like and what it is you don't like.
The things you don't like, ask yourself why? Once you have discovered what it is and why, look at ways you can change it.
Think of a long term goal and ultimately what you want to achieve for yourself, this can be work related, lifestyle, relationship etc.
Once you have worked out what you need or want to change, start to make a list of short term goals to begin with. These are small steps you can take to start changing your life for the one you really want  it to be.

Even a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I have taken my first step and started this process in earnest and will have a regular post to update on this.

What you want!

I have always tried to improve myself as a person and subsequently improve my life, my surroundings and my circumstances by learning new things and alternative ways of being and doing.

One of the areas I have tried to improve and have always been aware of is about where my focus is.
Having read numerous books and spoken to many people about how to change this for the better, I genuinely have worked hard at it.
I have found that if you want something in life, I mean really want it, you have to focus on it as if you already have it. You have to visualise it as if it's already in your possession, see it as though you have use of it right now!
Along with this visualisation you have to apply emotion to when you see it as yours, you have to really feel how you would feel if you already had it.

This is great for helping you what you want and the stronger the feeling you apply to it, the quicker it comes in to your experience.

It truly is a fantastic tool however be aware. while being focused on what you want and adding emotion to this focus, the same goes for what you don't want and if this is where your focus lies, with emotion, this is what you will get.

As I said I have worked hard at this and have been able to keep my mind on what I want but, what I haven't been able to do as of yet is totally eradicate this focus on what I don't want also.

And without realising it, I have still attracted the unpleasant experiences in life, those moments where everything is not quite as I would like it to be, because I have taken my eye off the ball for a second and let my thoughts and feelings drift to the negative.

Now being even more aware and actually quite annoyed with myself for allowing this to happen, I have decided to once again change this to present me with more positive outcomes as I progress through life.

Now I don't know if it is psychology or the law of attraction or divine intervention that takes over when we do this focusing thing, all I know is that it works.

To add to this, if you show gratitude for the things you do get, it speeds up the process of getting more of what you want.

So doesn't it seem worthwhile that we should spend a little time and a bit more care about where our thoughts and feelings are heading? Especially if we can influence the outcome.

I think so!

Acceptance

Recently I have been looking for ways to stop losing my temper and to stay calm and collected, even in difficult situations. I have been giving in to the monster inside me and allowing it free reign when it came to releasing my negative emotions. My ego was so much in control that if somebody said anything to me that suggested I was stupid, incapable, incompetent or any kind of loser, I would lose it big time then blame them for upsetting me.

Not the way to be at all and something I have known from past lessons I have learned however, something I have forgotten through lack of practice.

The teachings of Zen show us a different way to look at life and it is definitely worth considering.
Patient acceptance, learn to accept events, outcomes, activities of others, words and even opinions without attaching any prejudice or personal emotions.

It requires us to accept the possibility that everything which comes in to our experience is a result of our actions in the past. If we can accept this and can then learn to be patient with ourselves and with others, it will make us calmer in perceived stressful situations and less prone to angry outbursts.

And if anger is such a negative destructive emotion why do we even bother to allow it time in our all too busy lives in the first place? Surely having a means to prevent it from appearing is a step in the right direction?

How can you hear me when you're talking so loud?

Have you ever been in a situation where you are having a conversation or even an argument for that matter and all you can think about is getting your point across?

Even if you are silent while the other person is talking or saying their piece, your mind is running over what you are going to say next and how justified it is going to be rather than actually hearing what the other person is saying.
In a conversation not only is this bad manners but, it also means you are not interested enough in the other person to actually listen to what they have to say. If thats the case why even bother having the conversation, let them go and talk to someone who is genuinely interested in them.

In an argument this is even worse, how can you possibly resolve a disagreement when neither of you actually listen to (never mind understand) what the other person is saying?

And if you don't listen or understand, how can you expect the same from them?

And if neither of you is offering an open ear because you are too full of your own self importance, the argument is more likely to continue for longer and the relationship will grow farther apart, then becomes more difficult to reconcile.

Why not just stop for a moment, shut up, and actually hear what somebody else has to say, I mean really listen and take it in. It might surprise you, they might actually be making sense and you may see a solution to your disagreement with less hurt and less time wasted on negative energy.

You never know unless you try!

Do we really have time for this?.....

Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you you think, "This is such a waste of time" ? It might be when you visit somebody, a friend of a friend perhaps and you went along to keep them company or while you are waiting in a queue at the shops.
When was the last time you had an argument or a falling out with a loved one or friend and thought that that was a waste of time? If you are like me it's probably not until after the fact I imagine.

Do we really need to get so upset with ourselves and with others over some of life's trivial concerns? If this was our last day on Earth would we really want to waste time having a silly argument  or to fall out with somebody because of something that happened in the past?

Once we have spent a moment in time and it is gone, it's gone forever, you can't get it back, and if you've wasted that moment and not enjoyed it you then spend time regretting it, wasting yet more time.
If we enjoyed each moment in life, we would have made valuable use of our time then and also we wouldn't be wasting more time on regrets.

Just a thought....

A little gem for today

I started thinking today about how we get things in life and how they come our way. Sometimes we go looking for them, we desire them and crave them so much. Sometimes we have them brought to us by other people, they feel that we are deserving of such experiences be they good or bad. Or we stumble across them quite by accident yet they still come in to our presence.

However we arrive at having anything in our lives, for whatever reason, one thing is for certain, if we are not meant to have it we won't, no matter how much we hope and pray. And if we are meant to have it, whether we like it or not, we are going to get it anyway.

So I say this it's great to get the things you want but we should also be able to want the things we get, or at least be grateful for the experience of it for a brief time, we learn and grow with each new experience.

Positive thoughts

Ok, the first of my positive daily thoughts I hope actually I can keep this up on a daily basis. Ok here goes.

Today I noticed something about sales , and area I am currently working in, in particular why people buy. We are taught in sales training that we sell to people every day, we sell ideas, thoughts and concepts to our families and friends to get them to see or agree to our way of thinking.
This is true however, these people already know us and therefor trust us somewhat so selling to them is easier. In order for us to sell to a complete stranger this cannot be done in one phone call or on one visit, we have to build trust and the only way someone will trust us is when they see that we are telling them the truth.

If you want to be good at sales, sell something which can sell itself and tell the truth - always!